She supposedly went to management, and supposedly they wrote him up and made him sign a letter saying that if I went to his work, called anyone, or emailed anyone at his work, he would be reprimanded.He brought home the letter with his and his manager’s names on it, but neither signed. They have an interest in ensuring that their employees aren’t harassed at work or otherwise subjected to angry emails from employees’ spouses.Whatever the reason, most older adults will tell you that how someone looks is doesn’t matter much in their search to find a companion.One thing we have been struck with has been the important role that dinner plays in the social (or not-so-social) lives of most older adults.This reinforces a message that young people get hammered with on a daily basis: nothing matters more than how you look.
We are all living decades longer than we once did, and are staying fitter, healthier (and in some cases, friskier) further into our wisdom years than ever before.While this is true for some older adults, it is far from universal.Many seniors really are looking for companionship and nothing more. A recognition that most older adults are prepared for the fact that no single person may be the solution to all their social needs, that they may be just as well served by multiple companions.This makes quite a comparison to how many young people organize their first dates, which usually involve meeting up in a bar.Several of today’s dating services are built specifically around this concept: Grouper, for example, hooks up groups of young people in bars and offers them a free first drink as part of the package. The fundamental premise behind most dating services for young people is that the ultimate goal is to find love and marriage.Far more important is what shape you are in, how healthy you are, what activities you can do. If you’re active and like going for long walks and playing golf, you’re going to be much more interested in the fit and energetic 82-year-old who can share your activities than the 65-year-old waiting on a hip replacement who can no longer walk long distances. The other stunning aspect of dating for young people is how much looks matter.On the other hand, the 75-year old woman who has had past back problems and likes to stay in with wine and movies might be a great match for that 65-year-old man. The hottest online dating app for young people today is Tinder, which proudly claims to be matching over 450 million love-seekers daily.In fact, it would be more problematic to your husband’s workplace if he to let the coworker participate in a Super Bowl pool that others were allowed to participate in.He can’t treat her worse than other coworkers just because of the history; that would be unprofessional and something a smart employer wouldn’t allow.And more importantly than any of this, the right person to address this kind of thing with is your husband, not his coworker.He’s the one whose behavior matters to your marriage.