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In an Elite Singles survey, our members were asked how they decide whether they want to go on a date with someone they’ve met online.

47% of Kiwis surveyed said that the decision came down to one major factor: the quality of the messages exchanged.¹There’s no doubt that, when it comes to online dating, first message success counts – but how can you make the most of it?

Let them know what you have in common and ask a few pertinent questions. A basic rule to follow is to avoid overtly physical compliments in your online dating first message as this can send the wrong signal – in fact, our Kiwi members voted sexual innuendo as one of their biggest online dating no-nos!

Remember that you are here to sell yourself; so, rather than illustrating why someone probably won’t message you back, think like a salesperson and show off your best side.

These include “how’s it going,” “what’s up,” and even “yo.” All were shown to get more replies than the more standard “hellos.” In fact, it’s better to use no traditional salutation at all than one of the top 3 introductions listed initially.

No traditional greeting at least earns the reply rate of 27%.

Not only will this make a great first impression, you’ll be reminded of the fact that you yourself are wonderful, you are interesting and you are In brief, the ideal online dating message is concise, personal and yet not too invasive - you are looking for that perfect balance of wit and interest without coming across as too intense. Sometimes users won't reply to your attempts at chat.

Try not to lose heart - it's very likely that this has nothing to do with you!

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