You had to “audition” by submitting a photo, and the site gave you a 24-hour probation period.If your ratings weren’t high enough at the end, you got to live out your life as an ugly or mediocre person. Everyone on Beautiful was totally indifferent to my appearance.
One summer evening, the museum unveiled a new outdoor installation, and my job was to guard the entrance to a VIP platform that had been set up in the middle of the street.
Dog cocking his head sideways, eyebrows up; grown man holding two kittens up to ears to keep them warm; prospective future boyfriend rolling around on the grass with his puppy; man of your dreams slow-dancing with a husky.
The Animal Lover is perhaps the most confusing of all Tinder types.
Related: You were wondering when baby tigers were going to come up, weren't you? But if you, like me, will only accept perfectly carved goatees on ex-Backstreet Boys members and Riff-Raff ONLY, then left it is and let's move on. Photos of him brewing beer in small batches; carelessly strumming his acoustic guitar while admiring a distant sunrise; heavily filtered pictures of him and his attractive friends at a farm-to-table brunch; selfies resembling one of the cards in the game "Guess Who?
"; ironically making himself look much more unattractive then he actually is (who is the joke on in this case? **********NOTE: ALL THESE PHOTOS FEATURE BEARDS AND SOMETIMES UPTURNED MUSTACHES********** Some reference to pop culture to prove he is in the know and has a sense of humor: "It's going down, I'm yelling Tinderrrrr." Though this can also swing 180, pretentiously referencing records, bikes, or arthouse cinema. Swipe right, but prepare for texting with this fellow for a couple of weeks before he finally works up the courage to ask you to "hang out" with him and his friends via text. Just don't be surprised when you finally see his house and he keeps apologizing for all the toys his "niece" leaves all over the living room, or when he eventually brings up the fact that him and his ex-wife shares custody of said "niece." Age: 39. "I am dust and live in an urn" is what his bio should say.