But when you find these people, these kenzoku, they're like priceless gems. This one is easy, at least on paper: become a true friend yourself. No one can deal with another's bursens when one's own are too much. I realized I can only change myself and my own issues--no one else's. If so-called friends (or enemies, acquaintances or lovers)who have hurt you do not care or don't think they need to work on themselves, that's their own sad choice. You have to love yourself." I just couldn't understand them! Here's something I always say: getting help is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. Only you can bring happiness into your life, despite whatever anyone else does to you, whether it's deception, rejection, manipulation, or plain old meanness...One of my favorite quotations comes from Gandhi: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Be the friend you want to have. I'm 36 & haven't had a friend for decades, despite following all the advice. Not to be confused with the psych version of "try"--but the version where I was doing something and the results sucked because of the human on the other side of the equation. For most of my life, people have told me "happiness is a choice. That's why I said I'm so blessed to have the friendships that I have and that I am able to realize how wonderful it is to experience them.In this essay, the author tend to expound the true meaning of friendship, therefore, the “kazoku” is more suitable for my consideration.The kazoku's kanji is "家族" that means like the essay imply family.These people around me now- I don't know them as intimately as my friends, but they treat me like I have always been here.
There still seems to be an extra factor, an attraction similar to that which draws people together romantically, that cements friends together irrevocably, often immediately, for no reason either person can identify. But the difference between us is that I finally realized I needed to get help in order to release myself from the pain and injury given to me by others. I learned so well that if I kept waiting for others to bring happiness into my life, I would probably wait a lifetime.
For friendship to endure, there must be a mutual,deep sense of caring.
There needs to be a willingness to give and accept honest advice, encouragement, and sharing of quality time together in addition to respecting one another's privacy. At a different point in my life, my friends were my family.
I think it's possible, despite the lack of time and all the problems we have with ourselves. If we try to do that and are sincere with other people, I think it's not such a mystery.
I consider myself lucky, because i found my kenzoku... PS: from europe;) I feel so blessed to experience close friendships with six people in my life.