It's like we all go through experiences, and a list helps you remember to smell the trouble as it comes around the corner.
ESSENCE.com: When was it created and how has the list changed over the years? I started the list in my 20s, an age when you make a lot of mistakes as you're still learning about yourself and men.
ESSENCE.com: Talk about this "Chilli's Checklist," why a list?
CHILLI: A list will keep you from making a lot of mistakes, although I know it's impossible to avoid all of them.
I’ll just say this: it wasn’t that I just experienced cheating with Usher because he and I never discussed that in detail.
A lot of people out there are really good at hiding things and making it seem like everything is normal so you don’t suspect that they’re cheating.
Usually things don’t work out, not because of a cheating situation. Most people, in my opinion, that are together and even married shouldn’t even be together.
Sales of the album was helped by the performer’s breakup with Chilli of the R&B group TLC.ESSENCE.com: So do you miss the relationship you and Usher had? ESSENCE.com: Four times a week, that says something. CHILLI: We're friends, and not the type of friends that sleep together or have seen each others' body parts. I'm comfortable in that area, I don't want to ruin a great friendship. He has a lot of the qualities [I like], I'll tell you that. ESSENCE.com: I respect you, your standards, and that you haven't given up on love. What do you say to women who are getting older, harboring bitterness and resentment, and have yet to find the one? Know yourself, both the good and the bad, and then figure out what you really like.Would it be possible to ever rekindle your relationship with him? Yes, there's an attraction you can't deny, but if we cross that line we can't come back to where we are right now. As long as a man acknowledges and provides for his kids, it shouldn't matter." Related stories: "Basketball Wives" Jennifer Williams Talks Infidelity BET Get Back In "The Game" Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas believes "I was built to be someone's wife." However, in order to find her husband, he must make the grade. The "C" in the all-girl group TLC, makes no apologies for her laundry list of standards she calls the "Chilli Checklist," while her matchmaker, author Tionna Smalls provides Chilli with some much-needed assistance in finding a boo.Thomas talks to about when she created the list, how Usher was instrumental in changing it, and how Floyd Mayweather, even with almost every quality on her list, is just a, um, *cough*...friend.Like, I want a guy who doesn't drink, but I need a guy who doesn't smoke.In my wants area, I'll compromise, but not my needs.ESSENCE.com: The woman who is assisting you as your matchmaker on the show, Tionna Smalls, how challenging was it working with her?CHILLI: We are very opposite, but I had to put my trust in her.Now I know to preserve it, so [men] can appreciate it more.ESSENCE.com: So far the show has mentioned six or so things on your list. CHILLI: I love a silly man, can't be with a quiet guy, and he has to love the Lord.