A lot of the disaster-ships I've seen are things were there's intimacy without commitment. Posted by: Aries on June 4, 2010 PM Oh man, Aries you TOTALLY nailed this one. Posted by: Erika on June 4, 2010 PM @Peter My feelings on being single: ANGST INSECURITY ANGST. I was single (and inadvertently celibate) most of my time in Oberlin, and I always felt like something was terribly, terribly wrong with me.
I've grown really used to having a significant other -- being without one feels like driving without a map or GPS. Posted by: Cal on June 4, 2010 PM The problem is that Erika is completely wrong about the location of our picture.
Posted by: Jay on June 5, 2010 PM I can definitely relate to this article, but I only really found it after I left Oberlin.
You gave it positives or drawbacks and in the end it wouldn't really mater because it all goes back to the beginning where at Oberlin everyone is family. Matt was in Oberlin, teaching Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, cramming for chem exams, and cooking tasty meals in Pyle Co-op. I know of a place where they will never find us too, and thats my heart. Often the most attached and deeply in love are also the most self-reliant, independent-minded, and capable people. Posted by: Kevin on June 3, 2010 PM Darling, WTF is this business about "not very attractive"? While there's alcohol, it's not the center of life. The really unpleasant macho/faux-chivalry/overwhelmingness really doesn't happen. Rachel had spent the semester abroad, studying public health in Mali. "honey bunny" from pulp fiction is my fav scene to watch with girlfriend too. Sometimes they explore each other intimately both emotionally and physically, and then call it a date. Also, who says independence precludes devotion, love and attachment? on June 4, 2010 AM @ Carolyn I think part of it is that Oberlin doesn't have a huge drinking culture. With all the consent lessons, and gender rights, dudes are actually respectful towards ladies.A recent episode for Withhunt talked about the debate of the past 3 decades in Korea – who pays for dates? The knife is for self-defense, but not the kind of self-defense that you are thinking. Whatever your opinion is on this, the truth is, it’s still very much a societal norm that guys pay for 70~80% of the date. Men were always regarded as the better gender in Korea and perhaps this phenomenon is an extension of it, or perhaps it’s because simple economics (guys are more desperate? But don’t be shocked to see Korean guys getting the tab most of the time, or if your Korean girlfriend disappears to the bathroom when it comes time for the bill. The knife is there to kill yourself with if you are about to be “disgraced”. However, technically “disgraced” meant any man other than your husband touching you. We're hardly unique in that fact--Charles Blow wrote a great New York Times op-ed called The Demise of Dating on how young folks get into relationships. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. If Obies already have buckets of friends, why would you date to find someone to have an awkward, uncertain attraction? I have a few friends who go on dates, but it's often a pathway to either a relationship or a more traditional friendship.Don't you favor the rad bromance over the bad romance? My point is that the midground is awkward and scary. -re: independence"Also, who says independence precludes devotion, love and attachment? As Askakorean blog concisely states, Women in Korea were clearly divided into two camps along the dichotomy, and it is a one-way street if they do cross the divide. Instead, Korean couples use kakaotalk messenger to keep each other updated non-stop. There’s always variations from couple to couple, but the fact that this list exists may come as a surprise. While couples in North America are much more “chill” and like to take things slow, my observation of Korean couples is that they love going all out and externally celebrating their togetherness. Two of my friends stayed in my house over commencement--Rachel and Matt.It means you have to make up all the rules together, and it's easy to make mistakes that can hurt a lot. "I think the difference is the line between devotion and dependence. In the summer-misery season, I sometimes fear that I skew closer to dependence than I want. Also, totally tickled that the first two pictures were taken on the same day at the same house.