After my last post I needed something lighter to write about.Here comes my first public book review: Boundaries in Dating, by Cloud and Townsend.
Here are the commandments, with very brief summary notes. Those that don’t risk living the “un-life,” which can be characterized by desperation, dependency, and/or depression. While there’s value in romance, feelings, and emotions, there’s a counter-balance that must be employed, and that’s called “thinking.” They suggest a proper balance between head and heart, avoiding going too fast, involving others in your dating process, and evaluating along the way as helpful steps towards exercising your mind. The areas that can be “compromised,” never in the “major” ones. “Take it slow, to get to know.” COMMANDMENT #5: Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries.COMMANDMENT #8: Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs.Perhaps one of the most important chapters in the book.Once in a relationship, good boundaries would be used to protect your level emotional attachment and sexual intimacy, and guard against any number of potential mates with “red flag” character flaws such lying, immaturity, outbursts, etc.The authors also discussed the topic of engaging in healthy conflict, and normalized it, to my liking.Any abuse, physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual, ought to result in an immediate break-up. Look for great character, someone who is faithful, honest, committed, forgiving, and generous (giving).Other warning signs are addictions, disrespectfulness, emotional baggage, denial, and irresponsible behavior. And be sure to check in with your friends, their other relationships (with friends and family), and give it lots of time. Learn how to think, solve problems, enjoy the benefits of dating to the hilt, and increase your ability to find and commit to a marriage partner. Boundaries in Dating reveals the path to developing self-control, freedom, and intimacy in the dating process.Sometimes I wish we would focus more on the driving truths of reality, and apply them to practical situations, rather than address practical situations from which we grab at various truths of reality. Second, the Bible is often proof-texted after-the-fact.In other words, the principles are decided upon, and then Scriptures are sought out to substantiate the pre-determined principles.