Debra Fileta, professional counselor and author of True Love Dates, says this: “More powerful than a kiss, more seductive than an embrace, there is something that happens when two people connect emotionally.Something that has the capacity to outweigh even the physical. Here are some guidelines to help you set reasonable, healthy, God-honoring emotional boundaries in dating that will help protect both you and your special someone.
You definitely don’t want to go too fast in this area. Once the relationship has progressed to “seriously dating,” make spiritual activities a key part of your relationship.I was 21 years old when I drove from Texas to Colorado with my friend Christie to attend the wedding of a friend from Japan. Unbeknownst to me that very evening my future husband sat across the dinner table from me.At the reception we discovered with delight that the bride’s mother had arranged to seat all the single people at the same dinner table so we could “mingle.” “Who knows what might happen? It wasn’t long before we began a long-distance courtship, got engaged, and then married.And, the reward is that your life will resemble springs of living water!Alisa Grace ('92) serves as a consultant to the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships where she also co-teaches a class on Christian perspectives on marriage and relationships.They are lovingly arranged in chronological order and tucked away in a shoebox in our storage shed.Not long ago, I pulled out the shoebox and reread each letter, experiencing all over again the excitement of a new relationship, the uncertainty of reciprocated feelings and the hesitancy to let my heart run away with me.And also remember that if you do indeed guard your heart well, if you go slow and steady and you commit your way to the Lord, you’ll create a wise pathway forward by the decisions you make.You’ll be blessed with a qualitatively better life and relationship.Fileta calls this process “a journey of building trust.” She recommends that you take your time, allowing your relationship to go through the necessary seasons before allowing your conversation to jump ahead. Because where your conversation goes…your heart will go, too.Instead of allowing your hopes for a future together to blind you, she advises you “savor, assess, invest in, and engage in your relationship where it is now.” Scripture is full of specific instructions on how we should treat each other.