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"It's a site where you can create a profile, window-shop for a play buddy, and 'check his references.' Even better, if you can, go to a public event like IML, MAL, or CLAW, or to a play party like the New York Bondage Club, where you can participate in a monitored space with other people around, or just watch the action.Don't forget the motto 'safe, sane, and consensual,' and be sure to have a safe word!It's not that they're closeted—most of them go on to have girlfriends, and that's when we stop—and they make it clear they don't want anything sexual to happen. And how do you know they aren't closing their eyes and imagining that you're a woman when you're spanking them?

I'm a 28-year-old bi-curious female, and I ended a three-year straight LTR a month ago.

We should also remember that no one is clairvoyant and that someone can hurt us without intending to.

But there's no intimate human connection, sexual or otherwise, that doesn't leave us open to hurting or being hurt.

And You Tube has a channel for everyone in the kink spectrum from gay to straight to trans to nonbinary and beyond!

" "is a great option for gay men," said Metal from the gay male bondage website Metalbond

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