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To prepare for the talk, I attended at Thursday 10 p.m.

“If you know you want to marry someone, does that make it more OK to have sex before marriage? Because if you know that you love someone and that you’re going to be sharing the gift of sex with them in a few months, why do you have to wait?This past Sunday I gave a lecture on sex, dating and relationships at the Newman Center at the University of Iowa.As a professor here, I teach classes on the American family and introductory sociology courses, so I’ve heard a lot about the undergraduate hook-up culture.And there are all sorts of “reasons” not to wait, it seems.One argument would go that sex is an important part of marriage, so you should practice in advance. Sexual intercourse isn’t like playing tennis or basketball.You can drink and have fun, certainly, but remain in control. Do you want to be popular with this person just for , or also when he or she is sober and making good decisions tomorrow and the next day?And don’t be above being a bit of a tease: You can hang out with a guy or girl at the bar as if you might go home with them, and then say—give me your number I’ll call you tomorrow.As my husband frequently reminds me, it’s not that you marriage.It’s a commitment you make every day and sex is one way in which you recommit yourself to your spouse.The Church talks a lot about chastity, but that is not in any way to say that the Church is anti-sex. These kinds of benefits require trust—and trust takes time to build.Think about what you want from a relationship: Mutual appreciation? There are seven sacraments (quick—can you name them?

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